I mean, come on

Missed Instant Message(s) 5:35pm
Hey There

Do people respond on this chat thing or am I better off sending you a message?

well...

I hate having to prove that I'm worth talking to...but I do actually think we'd get along quite well...

NPR, love it, This American Life and Radiolab are regularly on my ipod in podcast form

i have a bonsai tree

clearly you dig the BBC nature docs, if you haven't already you should check out their latest, human planet, its amazing, especially the jungles episode

i love about 60% of music choices, im especially impressed by the kinks

i don't play the steel drums, but im working on acquiring the mysterious, hard to obtain "hang drum"

youtube that, it's amazing, sounds a lot like a steel drum actually

you love tomatoes, i love tomatoes, theyre growing on my roof

i mean, come on

5:43pm
Hey,

If my barrage of chat messages didn't get the job done, I don't know what will. If you would be so kind, I'm curious to know why I got ignored. This is a strange place and I clearly need help understanding the ins and outs. ok, peace.

-Chad


This guy likes me way too aggressively considering it's based on tomatoes, bonsai trees, and 60% of my taste in music.

Chad, i WILL be so kind to explain why I ignored you:

Listen, you have to be careful with these dating websites. Just because we have a bunch of similar random interests doesn't mean we were meant for each other. We both love tomatoes, but you have no idea how I actually pronounce the word "tomato." There's a chance that a date with me could lead to an extremely violent interpretation of a George Gershwin song. And no one wants that.

So. You love tomatoes, I love tomatoes. Let's call the whole thing off.

...oh and also, you seem like kind of a dick.

05.22.2011

Love the screen name, although I wouldn't have pegged you as the golfing type. What's your handicap? I kid. Just want you to know that if you were my waitress I would give you a huge tip. I know you're not materialistic but have you thought about a seltzer machine? It will improve your quality of life by 1000%. Anyway I seem to be rambling a bit here, my jeans are so tight that I can't think straight, kidding again, I would never. Would love to get together over a drink, or a seltzer, or both mixed together.

Arnold

Arnold suffers from what I call Cupid Aphasia. He writes messages that try to touch on every single aspect of a girl's online dating profile all at once. In doing so, he never says anything nice, meaningful, or with the potential to start an actual conversation. Cupid Aphasia is a serious condition and it's nothing to kid about.

I kid.

05.18.2011

Well at least you dont have the heart of a sailor and curse like gold? That makes no sense. i would never ever wear jeans let alone skinny ones. are you going to the free scott pilgrim screening?

You can probably guess what my profile says by this guy's lame attempt to make a joke out of it. For the record, I was much more responsive to this one:

I always kind of hoped cursing like a sailor meant shouting stuff like "By Poseidon's Beard!"

Also, the second guy was Irish. Yum.