make it easy on yourselves boys. From now on, just say "you are."

Sweet lord; you look like your 12.

Holy Jesus, you have the grammar of a 6 year old!

I mean, come on

Missed Instant Message(s) 5:35pm
Hey There

Do people respond on this chat thing or am I better off sending you a message?

well...

I hate having to prove that I'm worth talking to...but I do actually think we'd get along quite well...

NPR, love it, This American Life and Radiolab are regularly on my ipod in podcast form

i have a bonsai tree

clearly you dig the BBC nature docs, if you haven't already you should check out their latest, human planet, its amazing, especially the jungles episode

i love about 60% of music choices, im especially impressed by the kinks

i don't play the steel drums, but im working on acquiring the mysterious, hard to obtain "hang drum"

youtube that, it's amazing, sounds a lot like a steel drum actually

you love tomatoes, i love tomatoes, theyre growing on my roof

i mean, come on

5:43pm
Hey,

If my barrage of chat messages didn't get the job done, I don't know what will. If you would be so kind, I'm curious to know why I got ignored. This is a strange place and I clearly need help understanding the ins and outs. ok, peace.

-Chad


This guy likes me way too aggressively considering it's based on tomatoes, bonsai trees, and 60% of my taste in music.

Chad, i WILL be so kind to explain why I ignored you:

Listen, you have to be careful with these dating websites. Just because we have a bunch of similar random interests doesn't mean we were meant for each other. We both love tomatoes, but you have no idea how I actually pronounce the word "tomato." There's a chance that a date with me could lead to an extremely violent interpretation of a George Gershwin song. And no one wants that.

So. You love tomatoes, I love tomatoes. Let's call the whole thing off.

...oh and also, you seem like kind of a dick.

Single Mingle

i won't wear skinny jeans if you won't ride a fixie

Jun 28, 2011 – 4:00pm
I guess it wasn't meant to be, Sugar.

Jun 28, 2011 – 4:00pm
:(
lets go for a ride and see how long your lack of gears can keep up

Jun 28, 2011 – 4:07pm
That just sounds cruel.

Jun 28, 2011 – 4:07pm
only up hill

Jun 28, 2011 – 4:10pm
I bet even if I did have gears I still couldn't keep up with mister rock climber karate extroirdinaire.

Jun 28, 2011 – 4:12pm
i should really take down the karate part, i've not practiced in a couple months
i'm also a rather slow biker i'm wanting to do longer rides

Jun 29, 2011 – 10:02am
so lets get together and do something seated

Jul 1, 2011 – 10:02pm
like cocktails for instance

According to his profile, his single requirement for a potential lady friend is that she doesn't ride a single speed bike. Fortunately for me, I do. A big thank you to my bike, Sir Ipswich of Canterbury, for helping me narrowly avoid this winner. By the way, I think the time stamps on this conversation are the best part.

Gee, thanks.

Hi :)

Jun 27, 2011 – 9:33pm
Hi!

Jun 27, 2011 – 9:34pm
how are you?

Jun 27, 2011 – 9:36pm
No complaints! How are you?

Jun 27, 2011 – 9:38pm
Yeah no point in complaining bc no one really cares! haha Im good just relaxing...so where do you plan on going in sept? Please talk me into coming!

Missed Instant Message

9:42

Hi I totally wasn't trying to be mean

9:45

I just reread it and i totally didn't mean it like that.

06.23.2011

I see you reply selectively, but I will ramble at you anyway.
...because - holy cow - you're interesting!

Waiting tables is a terrible drain on the soul. Decent money, yes, but a good waste of energy. I worked as a waiter and restaurant manager for 5 years before I knew I'd be miserable making a career out of it.

So now I'm back in school to be a teacher!!
Because it's better to serve humanity than it is to serve Mahi Mahi.

I was just wondering if I smile too much today...
Most people tend not to smile as much as I do.
I fear they are missing all the great things I see.

Maybe you understand.


1984, Dante, Scott Pilgrim, RHPC, Regina Spector, Greenday, and Sublime all rock.

One day, if you're interested, I'll let you try to convince me about Harry Potter and Bruce Springsteen.

I'm home in Westchester for the summer.
Say hi sometime.
I'll bet we'd have, at the very least, a fairly interesting internet conversation.

You were wrong about a fairly interesting internet conversation being the very least we'll have. I once refused to go on a date with a persistent boy until he had read all of the Harry Potter books. Maybe I should add that to my profile.

06.17.2011

So, obviously you passed the aesthetics test or shallow men (such as myself) would never contact you, but a buddy of mine was looking over my shoulder and claimed that – without a doubt – your profile looked to have been written by a guy; it’s just too perfect, minus the incompletion. He claimed that any account with so little information is a dead giveaway. I came to your defense, of course, but now we’ve got a $20 bet going as to whether or not you’re real. So I wondered, just between us, am I about to lose $20?

Jun 17, 2011 – 9:14pm
wtf? do people really do that? i'm a simple girl, that's all- not a lot to talk about. if it helps you with your bet at all you can tell your friend that i've been meaning to add something about how i have a subscription to national geographic but i haven't gotten around to it yet.

Jun 17, 2011 – 9:19pm
hmm that helps because only women subscribe to national geographic! want to split the $20?

Your snarky comment implied that my information was of no use whatsoever to you in regards to your stupid bet with your stupid friend. And yet somehow it proved your point, you won the $20. And now you want to take me out on a cheap date. I think the real proof that I'm not a guy is that you haven't received a reply. And you never will.