No.

Is wearing capris ok?

Whoa there, fella!

I named my houseplant Eddie.
I do not, nor am I wearing, nor will I ever, wear skinny jeans :)
I also love Sam Cooke.
Giddy up.

this was a perfectly acceptable message until the last three syllables. Creeeeeeeepy!

I would actually like to see Pee Wee rock some skinny jeans...

Your profile is the best one I have ever read! You seem super cool. Also I skinny jeans pish I haven't even owned a pair of jeans for over 10 years. D:

This is actually kind of sweet, but if the age on your profile is correct, you wore skinny jeans when you were 16 in 2001 and that's just a little weird. Unless that just means that you were skinny when you were 16 and therefore your jeans then can be classified as skinny jeans because they were "skinnier" than they are now. Because you're kind of fat now. and you kind of look like Pee Wee Herman. And according to your emoticon your mouth is above your eyes and that creeps me out.

But Mooooom! All my friends have a distinct lack of mobility due to a stupid fashion trend.

But skinny jeans promote the beautiful curvature of my ass.

Sarcasm is hard to pull off online. I'm just going to go ahead and assume you're a whiny hipster bastard.

The gobstopper who just wouldn't quit

June 29th

good morning.

June 21st

good evening.

June 14th

good afternoon. I hate skinny jeans.

There's only one way to reply to this guy....take it away, Gene Wilder.

The Overcompensator

I doubt very much that your only superficial requirement is that a guy not wear skinny jeans, but I intentionally buy jeans several sizes too big just to avoid anybody possibly making that mistake about me.

Just throwing that out there.

He probably also buys condoms that are several sizes too big, just to avoid anybody possibly making the mistake that his penis is tiny. Do you see how your logic is flawed?

Just throwing that out there.

06.22.2011

What if I wear skinny jeans WHILE playing a steel drum????

I bet he was really proud of this message when he came up with it after all those hours trying to choose the perfect words. And the perfect place to enunciate. And the perfect amount of question marks.

06.05.2011

Skinny jeans & hats with the stickers still on them are 'fashion' things I will never understand.
And they also seem to be taking way too long to go away!

06.02.2011

My skinny jeans are soo tight you can play steel drum on them! I hoping the two cancel eachother out and my funnyness puts me over the top. Have you ever seen the show "Movie Magic"? It was my favoirte show when I was a kid. I dreamed of one day being a set desiner. I immagined they were mystical cretures who would hop around making things explode. Was I right?

Christopher

If you have to explain that what you said was funny, you're not funny. If you use the word "funnyness," I don't like you. Also, the "g" may be silent, but you still gotta put it in there, Christopher.

06.02.2011

I am funny. I hate skinny jeans (I kinda still wish it was the 90's in terms of jeans) and I have absolutely no clue how to play steal drums. I own a seltzer making machine and thought your profile was honest and cute.

I hate skinny jeans, too, but I do prefer them to the two immediate images I visualize when I think about 90's jeans:

Also, I could have assumed you don't know how to play the steel drums from the fact that you don't know how to spell "the steel drums."

06.02.2011

Hi there you look like a fun person, i don't like or ware skinny jeans at all.
However i wish i owned steel drums.

by
Nathan

This has inspired me to write a horror novel specifically for upper class Republicans who are deathly afraid that their children are gay. It's about regular jeans that turn into skinny jeans when there's a full moon. Also, what I can only assume was a failed attempt at a friendly farewell statement makes this message seem like it's an unenthusiastically rendered finger painting by a 5 year old kid that someone only put up on the fridge in the hopes that the child will discover his true calling as an artist, because he's definitely not going to go into linguistics.

05.22.2011

Love the screen name, although I wouldn't have pegged you as the golfing type. What's your handicap? I kid. Just want you to know that if you were my waitress I would give you a huge tip. I know you're not materialistic but have you thought about a seltzer machine? It will improve your quality of life by 1000%. Anyway I seem to be rambling a bit here, my jeans are so tight that I can't think straight, kidding again, I would never. Would love to get together over a drink, or a seltzer, or both mixed together.

Arnold

Arnold suffers from what I call Cupid Aphasia. He writes messages that try to touch on every single aspect of a girl's online dating profile all at once. In doing so, he never says anything nice, meaningful, or with the potential to start an actual conversation. Cupid Aphasia is a serious condition and it's nothing to kid about.

I kid.

05.18.2011

Well at least you dont have the heart of a sailor and curse like gold? That makes no sense. i would never ever wear jeans let alone skinny ones. are you going to the free scott pilgrim screening?

You can probably guess what my profile says by this guy's lame attempt to make a joke out of it. For the record, I was much more responsive to this one:

I always kind of hoped cursing like a sailor meant shouting stuff like "By Poseidon's Beard!"

Also, the second guy was Irish. Yum.