Sunday, July 17, 2011

I made him so :-(

June 4, 2011

I found your profile very impressive, and I am not easily impressed. It is clear from the way you write that you are obviously very intelligent without ever seeming like you are trying to show off. I think that you and I have a lot in common.

Indeed, my biggest concern about you is that you seem almost too good to be true. I mean, how do I know that you aren't some fifty-year-old man writing to me from his basement? Accordingly, I'd like to learn a little bit more about you to make sure you really are who you say you are before I make up my mind about you.

How much seltzer is "an absurd amount"? Do you have any brothers or sisters, and are you close with your family? And what is your name? (Hint: it should not be a man's name without a very good explanation).

I'm really looking forward to hearing back from you.

-Arthur

June 19th, 2011

Ah, I knew it! You didn't get back to me because you really ARE a 50 year old man writing to me from his basement! Just my luck.

It's not like there could be some other reason you haven't written back that I can think of. But that's no reason to be rude, right? Even if you're too afraid to answer my last email, you can still write back and tell me about your basement lair. What's it like?

- Arthur

July 17th, 2011

:-(


I was going to let this guy slide and spare him from Stupider Cupid. But then I received the best follow up to a follow up message that bitches about me not following up. Congrats, Arthur! You've earned yourself a place on my website for stupid messages.

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